Why Should My Fat Ass Pay For Oprah’s $43M Mistake?

Oprah-Winfrey-in-shock

Oprah and Weight Watchers as partners is nice, but it doesn’t help us because it’s just business.  That’s it.  Even Oprah agreeing to follow their program to lose weight is just business.  I love Oprah as much as anyone else, but the mania is just hype.  Here’s the deal.  Oprah is, once again, tired of the extra weight.  Most of us are!  She wants to be skinny again.

Oprah-Winfrey-through-thick-and-thin
Oprah through thick and thin.
 
 

So Oprah decides to go on yet another diet.  But why not do it as a business move?  Now we know that NOBODY can afford Oprah’s price for endorsements.  Unlike Jennifer Hudson, Oprah is a b-b-billionaire.  So instead, she buys the company stock and becomes a partner.  Then she promotes the heck out of it and invites her fans to join her.

Oprah-Winfrey-Promotional-Ad-For-Weight-Watchers
Oprah is ready…to take the money out of our chubby hands.

This ad makes me want to say:  Umm. OprahCan you please pay the hundreds of dollars per year it costs to join?  And can you please put extra gas in my car so I can go to the support meetings and still have enough for work?  And while I’m gone, please come over and watch my kids do their homework and eat all their veggies?  Speaking of veggies, tell the grocery stores to lower their prices on all the fresh healthy stuff.  Now that last request is a movement that’s worthy of the Oprah Effect!  On second thought Oprah, never mind.  I’ll just portion control and exercise the old fashioned way.  For 2 weeks I’ll:  a) only eat the leftovers on my kids plates.  b) I will actually walk over to my kids when they shout for me from another room.

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Explain this to me before… Donald Trump opens up a chain of hair salons!
How will Oprah’s partnership with Weight Watchers, help you wear skinny jeans AND a crop top at the same time?