Halloween: 5 Ways To Die Of Social Embarrassment


Halloween is a blast, but here are some situations that can ruin your night!

No. 1  Going out with friends who go overboard all the time guarantees your fun will be massacred.   If they’ve hooked up with someone and taken off on you, or if you’ve babysat their drunk ass, then DON”T go out with them.  They will do it again.  To hell with them.  Maybe do Netflix  and drinks at your place with some less crappy friends.

No. 2  If you go out as a couple dressed in matching costumes, you risk slaughtering your own fun.  Okay, I guess, it’s cute and maybe it’s romantic, but it’s not worth it!  I know you think it’s important to show that your partner is “taken”.  Fyi, the translation for taken is “good catch”, “willing to commit” and “has an insecure partner”.  Also, there will inevitably  be another couple dressed the same as you are.  Except, they will look insanely hotter than both of you.

Paris Hilton better hold on tight to this guy!



Kim Kardashian and grumpy Kanye West.

No. 3  Wearing a costume that’s too perfect to get dirty guarantees it will need a burial by the end of the night.  Some of you try to look gorgeous and flawless at the Halloween party.  Hold on a minute.  Here’s where that idea leads you:  Your friends will give you hugs and accidentally(?) rub makeup on your costume.  In the bathroom, part of your fluffy fantasy will likely dip into the toilet, when you turn around to flush.  Oh, and you’ll have to stand all night so your costume doesn’t wrinkle.  By the way, don’t kid yourself, people can still pinpoint you as the piss smell, even if you’re standing in the crowd.

Gwen Stephanie as Cinder-hell-nah
This is how you party.  You go girls!

No. 4  Wearing a racial or cultural “joke” costume could turn you into a corp-sicle.  You’ll likely to get put on blast in the middle of a crowd.  Also, people will stay mad at you long after the night is over.  That means no black face, red face, white face, or yellow face.  And forget the feathered head bands, swastikas, tom-a-hawks, or religious clothing.  If it’s serious to someone else, then just don’t make fun of it.  Here’s a campaign from Students Teaching About Racism in Society (STARS) that shares some examples and their feelings about it.

Two-students-hold-up-cultural-costumes. They-make-a-point-to-end-stereotyping
These students are speaking out!
This guy probably thinks he’s paying tribute to Lil Wayne.
We’ll just have to wait onr the next Reese Witherspoon movie.

No. 5  You could be socially cremated if you go too far laughing at gender swap costumes.  Halloween can be a “free to be me” day for some of our LGBTQ brothers and sisters.  Jokes might cause unintentional but very real harm.  Sure it can be funny, start name calling (even as a joke).  You will feel like crap if they come out later on.   BTW, if you or someone you know is struggling with communicating their truth, here’s a support guide for sharing gender and sexual identity.

Twerking da truth!
Knock. Knock.

Keep these situations in mind when choosing your Halloween costume and making your plans.  Take care and take pictures!  (Just in case you look cuter this year than next year.)